#autistic-coded engineer

[prettyboypistol]

Okay so how about getting ruined by engineer, bc he got frustrated that others were messing with his work.

So to help take his anger out, you let him go as rough as he wants. And can use whatever toys he wants on you.

Blowing Off Steam || Engineer x M!Reader +18

[Rough Sex][Spanking][Dirty talk][Ambiguous Genitals for Reader][Oral][Engie calling you a "good boy"]

minors dni

A loud bang on a desk made you and your coworkers jump and look directly towards the thundering sound. Dell pointed to the door and demanded in a voice none of you had ever heard come out of him before. It was cold and laced with an edge of danger as he demanded only two words.

"Get. Out."

You had been glued to your place in the room as the other men slinked out(or, if you were Scout, sprinted). Dell glared at you, but you could only put your hands up in a surrendering gesture. You and Dell had been messing around with each other for a couple of months now, but the post-sex pillow talk had really brought you two together.

Dell stormed past you and slammed the door and loudly locked it, only to drag himself back to his workbench as he dropped his head onto the metal table. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. was the only noise that echoed through the garage as he hit his hardhat against the steel. You couldn't help yourself. You stepped forward.

"Dell," You murmured gently, "hey man, wanna talk about it?"

Your Engineer groaned in response. "He's been, pardon my fucking language- fucking around with my machines again!"

"Scout?" You guessed.

"No, Demoman! That bastard's been tinkering with my turrets for a week now!"

Oh, that was a surprise. Tavish wasn't too bad of a person from what you had seen, but you couldn't condone drunken tampering with your man's machines.

"And like, yes the man's brilliant. Fuckin' amazing at bombs and explosives. I've looked over them- uh, them sticky bombs! Brilliant! But that don't give him the right to sneak into my workshop and fuck with my babies!"

"Oh I absolutely agree. There's a difference between explosive intelligence and mechanical intelligence. Two very different fields." You didn't know really what you were talking about, even then, it just felt right to say that. You were speaking off the cuff, and apparently it worked.

"Y'see, I don't think he'd like if I snuck into his testfield and "upgraded" his toys." Dell grumbled, his gloved hand drummed rhythmically onto the table. You tapped on the table to tell Engie that you had arrived at his side, then rubbed his shoulders. He sighed as you tried to work the knots out of him.

Dell let you explore his back through your massage, his temper dulling with every push and knead. Suddenly, you were flipped onto the table with Dell kissing your neck with an open mouth. While you weren't too upset with the change, it was quite surprising.

He tugged your shirt up as his hand slid around your chest, his large hands groped your chest as he sighed into the crook of your neck.

"Y'know babyboy, I think there's a great way to help me blow off steam, if you're willin', of course." Dell murmured before he kissed your ear softly.

You couldn't help but smile.

"Well go on Professor Genius, blow off some steam."

He shrugged his overalls' straps off of his shoulders as he kneeled down, your pants quickly unbuttoned as Dell completely overwhelmed your senses as he went right for the spot he had found that made you hold back a scream that he had found last week. Your hand slapped over your own mouth as he swallowed and laved his tongue in the exact ways that ruined you. God, he was evil.

You had given him fair warning, really! You knocked his hat off, you grasped at his shoulders, hell, you even near-sobbed that you were close! Still, he carried on and took all you had until you couldn't help but kick him away from the oversensitivity. Dell seemed to take that personally, if him grabbing you and placing him over his lap was anything to go by. "Say 'Bee' if I'm too hard." Dell explained. Before you could comprehend what he meant, a harsh smack to your ass made you squeak. Again and again, Dell spanked you until tears welled in your eyes. With every wind up and subsequent slap, Dell grumbled about the situation, accenting every grievance with a spank. After he was apparently done, he manhandled you oh so easily into sitting in his lap. He shushed you and gently kissed your neck and cheeks as his gloved hand reached onto his workbench to grab a little container of lube. He unscrewed the cap and dipped those large and boxy fingers of his deep into the liquid, only to press the slicked fingers against your entrance. "Good boy, c'mon, let me in." Dell crooned. "Let me get inside you darlin'." It felt like seconds, but soon enough Dell lined himself up and pushed you down onto him. God, he was too fucking thick for his own good. His hands on your pelvis tightened as he lifted you up and down in tandem with his hips pumping into you. You felt used. You felt as if he wasn't the Dell you loved, but a man full of horny anger that needed a release. Somehow, that was really fucking hot. "God dammit, I'm so fucking pissed off, love. So. God. Damn. PISSED." Dell ranted as he railed you. Every word was accentuated with a deep push inside you. "Ohhh why can't people leave my shit alone, hm? These nasty fuckin'-" The ranting felt like the horniest dirty talk that could ever be uttered as you sobbed in pleasure. You couldn't do anything but beg and whine as Dell rearranged your guts. There wasn't a real way to tell when Dell was close, but he suddenly switched positions to place you bent over the desk. "Good boy, fuckin' take it. Lemme get you all ruined, okay?" Dell growled as he made your screams bounce and echo off of the walls. You could only let out an excited moan and nod as he sped up. A loud groan and stilling was the only signifier before you were pressed down with rough hands and a chest against your back, keeping you in place as Dell came inside you. A few little pumps to drain himself fully made you sigh and giggle in delirium. "F-feelin' better?" You mumbled. "Yeah." Dell assured as he kissed your back and neck. "Thank you darlin'."

[texanmarcusdavenport]

the only davenport-dooley family members i DONT headcanon as autistic are Tasha (neurotypical), Leo (ADHD), Bree (ADHD), and Douglas (ADHD+bipolar schizoaffective), so. Do with that what you will?

[ur-fav-is-autistic]

Thomas the Tank Engine from Thomas & Friends is Autistic

Thomas the Tank Engine from Thomas & Friends is Autistic!

[unquietspiritao3]

Ivo Graham

i only know ivo from taskmaster, off menu, and one ep of wilty (has he done more than one?), but he seems like an absolute sweetheart and autistic-coded as hell. like, down to an obsession with trains???? ffs, ivo, we try to keep that hidden so we don’t confirm all the stereotypes!

[spindlecrank]

Leveraging the Power of Pattern Recognition: How Higher-Functioning Autistics Can Excel in the Workplace

Pattern recognition is the ability to identify and interpret recurring patterns in data, information, or stimuli. It is a fundamental cognitive skill that allows us to make sense of the world around us and make predictions based on past experiences. Pattern recognition plays a crucial role in various aspects of our lives, including language acquisition, problem-solving, decision-making, and creativity.

At its core, pattern recognition involves the brain's ability to process and organize information efficiently. It enables us to recognize similarities, differences, and relationships between objects, events, or ideas. This cognitive process is not only essential for human intelligence but also for the development of artificial intelligence systems.

What is autism and how does it affect pattern recognition?

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by challenges in social interaction, communication, and restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior. While individuals with autism may experience difficulties in certain areas, they often possess unique strengths and abilities.One area where individuals with autism may excel is pattern recognition. Many individuals with higher-functioning autism have an exceptional ability to detect and analyze patterns that may go unnoticed by others. This heightened sensitivity to patterns can manifest in various ways, such as a keen eye for detail, an aptitude for logical reasoning, and a preference for routine and predictability.

The unique strengths of higher-functioning autistics in pattern recognition

Higher-functioning autistics often exhibit extraordinary pattern recognition skills due to their atypical cognitive processing. They tend to have strong attention to detail and excel in tasks that require precision and accuracy. Their ability to focus intensely on specific patterns or details allows them to identify subtle nuances that others might overlook.

Moreover, individuals with autism often possess exceptional memory, which further enhances their pattern recognition abilities. They can effortlessly recall specific patterns or sequences, enabling them to identify patterns even in complex or chaotic environments. This unique combination of attention to detail, focus, and memory gives higher-functioning autistics an advantage in tasks that demand pattern recognition and analysis.

Examples of pattern recognition in autism

To better understand the significance of pattern recognition in autism, let's explore some examples. Imagine a child with autism who consistently recognizes and remembers license plate numbers. They may identify recurring patterns in the arrangement of letters and numbers, allowing them to recall specific plates effortlessly. Similarly, individuals with autism may excel in puzzles, such as jigsaw puzzles or Rubik's cubes, where identifying and manipulating patterns is crucial for solving the puzzle.In the realm of language, individuals with autism may demonstrate an exceptional ability to recognize patterns in words, grammar, or syntax. They may have a natural inclination towards learning multiple languages or have a keen sense of detecting patterns in written text. This heightened sensitivity to patterns in language can be harnessed in various fields, such as translation, linguistics, or natural language processing.

How pattern recognition can benefit autistic individuals in the workplace

Pattern recognition skills can be valuable assets for autistic individuals in the workplace. Many industries and professions require the ability to analyze and interpret complex patterns, making the unique strengths of higher-functioning autistics highly sought after.In fields like data analysis and data science, where large amounts of data need to be processed and patterns need to be identified, individuals with autism can excel. Their attention to detail and exceptional memory allows them to detect subtle trends and anomalies that others might miss. This can lead to more accurate predictions, better decision-making, and the development of innovative solutions.

Additionally, areas such as cybersecurity, where identifying patterns in data is crucial for detecting threats and vulnerabilities, can greatly benefit from the pattern recognition skills of individuals with autism. Their ability to detect patterns in complex systems and identify potential risks can contribute to creating safer digital environments.

Leveraging pattern recognition skills in coding and other technical fields

Coding and programming are domains that heavily rely on pattern recognition and logical thinking.

Autistic individuals, with their exceptional pattern recognition abilities, often find themselves naturally inclined towards coding and other technical fields.In coding, recognizing and understanding patterns in programming languages, algorithms, and data structures is essential for developing efficient and effective solutions. Autistic individuals, with their attention to detail and logical reasoning, can excel in this area. Their ability to spot patterns in code and identify errors or inefficiencies can lead to more robust and elegant software.

Furthermore, autistic individuals may excel in other technical fields, such as engineering or mathematics, where pattern recognition is vital for problem-solving and innovation. Their unique perspective and ability to see connections between seemingly unrelated elements can lead to groundbreaking discoveries and advancements in these fields.

Overcoming challenges in pattern recognition for autistic individuals

While autistic individuals may possess remarkable pattern recognition skills, they may also face certain challenges in this area. One challenge is the potential for literal thinking, where individuals may struggle to see patterns beyond their literal representation. This can limit their ability to apply patterns in novel or abstract contexts, requiring additional support and guidance.

To overcome these challenges, it is crucial to provide autistic individuals with structured and explicit instruction that helps them generalize patterns to different contexts. Visual aids, such as charts, diagrams, or visual representations, can also enhance their understanding and application of patterns. Additionally, fostering a supportive and inclusive work environment that embraces neurodiversity can create a conducive atmosphere for autistic individuals to thrive in pattern recognition roles.

Support and accommodations for autistic individuals in the workplaceI

nclusive workplaces that value the contributions of neurodiverse individuals should provide appropriate support and accommodations to enable autistic individuals to leverage their pattern recognition skills effectively. Some accommodations that can facilitate their success include clear and concise communication, well-structured tasks and schedules, and opportunities for focused work.

Moreover, providing flexibility in work arrangements can help individuals with autism manage their sensory sensitivities and maintain focus. This may include options for noise-canceling headphones, adjustable lighting, or designated quiet spaces. By understanding and accommodating the unique needs of autistic individuals, employers can create an environment that maximizes their potential and fosters their professional growth.

Success stories of autistic individuals excelling in pattern recognition roles

Numerous success stories highlight the potential of higher-functioning autistics in pattern recognition roles. For instance, Temple Grandin, a renowned author and animal behavior expert with autism, revolutionized the livestock industry by designing more humane and efficient livestock-handling systems. Her unique ability to understand animal behavior and identify patterns in their movements led to significant improvements in animal welfare.

Another inspiring example is that of Daniel Tammet, a British author and mathematician with autism. Tammet is known for his exceptional abilities in memorization and mathematical calculations. His remarkable pattern recognition skills allow him to see numbers as shapes, colors, and textures, enabling him to perform complex calculations mentally.These success stories not only demonstrate the vast potential of autistic individuals in pattern recognition roles but also emphasize the importance of embracing neurodiversity in the workplace.

Embracing the potential of higher-functioning autistics in pattern recognition

Pattern recognition is a powerful cognitive skill that plays a significant role in our daily lives and professional endeavors. For individuals with higher-functioning autism, pattern recognition can be a unique strength that sets them apart in the workplace. Their attention to detail, exceptional memory, and logical reasoning abilities make them valuable assets in fields that require pattern recognition and analysis.

By understanding and embracing the potential of higher-functioning autistics in pattern recognition roles, employers can tap into a pool of talent that brings fresh perspectives, innovative solutions, and unparalleled dedication. Creating inclusive work environments that provide appropriate support and accommodations will not only benefit individuals with autism but also foster a more diverse and inclusive workforce.

John

[six-improbable-things]

Please reblog for sample size, even if you’re not autistic.

[geeky92]

Screw it, I’m gonna say it: I actually think the Lilo & Stitch remake is WORSE than the Snow White remake!

On a surface level, I should be more angry at the latter, considering it’s a bastardization of the film that went on to be the very foundation of Walt Disney Animation Studios (and the Walt Disney Company as a whole). But the former makes me angry on a much deeper, and more personal level.

I was only 10 when I saw the original Lilo & Stitch in theaters, and up until Elsa came along, Lilo was the only “autistic coded” Disney character that truly made me feel seen. Sure, there’ve been other autistic coded Disney characters before her (Ariel, Belle, Quasimodo, Hercules, Tarzan, Milo Thatch), but Lilo was the one I felt was the closest to being realistically autistic: creepy girl with weird hobbies struggles to make friends with other people her age, tends to lash out when someone insults her or misunderstands her, and is generally seen as this social outcast.

Heck, every other main character in Lilo & Stitch is pretty much a social outcast too:

Jumba is an “evil genius”, who the Galactic Council sees as nothing more than a pompous idiot.

Pleakley’s a scrawny nerd who’s completely enamored with Earth’s culture and history (in his own distorted, alien kind of way), and is unapologetically gender non-conforming.

Stitch is a genetically engineered “experiment” who was designed for destruction.

Then there’s Nani, who may not be as much of an “outcast” as the others, but she’s still a young woman living in poverty with her recently orphaned little sister and struggling to find a job in a nation that’s frequently populated by colonizers and tourists. Plus, she’s basically the only other human (besides David) who sees Lilo as a person, and not just a little terror.

Once I’ve read all the leaked spoilers for the live-action remake of Lilo & Stitch, I wasn’t just angry, I was FURIOUS! Practically everything about the original movie that I just described here is either completely absent or significantly dumbed down in the remake! It’s like they tore out everything that made Lilo & Stitch a neurodivergent masterpiece, and made it for the Neurotypical Gaze!

Anyway, I’m done ranting about this piece of shit remake, and I hope it flops harder than that dumb Mufasa movie.

[strange-aeons]

actually cant explain to you how funny the profile pic of the engineer from your last video is. like i audibly giggled 1) its a star trek character 2) its the most nonbinary yuri coded sludge who sleeps in a bucket 3) its an autistic coded goo monster. rip father strange you would've loved deep space nine

Correction: I am still alive and capabale of watching Star Trek. And that’s beautiful I think.

[itsamayje]

i redesigned my favourite meddling kids

i'm overjoyed to finally post this, i've been working on it for so long

what yall think?? i really wanted them to seem like students and in that odd blend of being modern but also 60s/70s coded

*RANT WARNING*

as yall know i'm obsessed with scooby doo, so redesigning the gang made my heart soar

it's always bothered me when i've seen other artists redesign them because they always make shaggy an aloof stoner and fred the jock, like?? in the og series shaggy is legit described by daphne as being the swingingest gymnast in their school, my guy is absolutely sporty how yall think he outruns the villains all the time??? and my autistic baby boy freddie has the best characterisation in the best scooby series mystery incorporated. I really wanted to build on him from that series as being a mechanical engineering type student to tie in his love traps and creations,

the girls to me are nearly always perfect but I do feel like daph should be in shorts or pants if she's going to be using fighting skills yk?

[nightcolorz]

I would love to hear your thoughts on autistic Armand, if you haven’t already spoke about this! Imo he’s very autsitic coded, and it’s very precious to me as an autistic iwtv fan :]

OMG!!! RUNS AROUND. Yes lmao I talk about this a lot actually it is one of my favorite Armand things to meta about bcus I’m also autistic and he is my special interest🙏I was trying to find some of the stuff I’ve written about autistic Armand but tumblrs search engine makes it near impossible to find anything so I gave up 😭, but believe me they r out there. Even tho I talk about this a lot I would love love love to talk about it some more for u anon because I can never get enough of armandtism.

I first figured Armand was autistic when I was reading the vampire Lestat because when he is first introduced he is completely non verbal and only communicates through the mind gift. through further explanation it’s very much implied that he does this because he finds putting his thoughts into words hard and he considers just projecting them into peoples brains much easier. Armand speaks out loud for the first time like more than halfway through the book, and lestat is surprised to hear him lol. This is super autistic I feel like that’s obvious 🙏 it’s basically the vampire power equivalent of using a non verbal communication device. Armand having trouble with connecting with people, understanding how to “fit in”, and talking r prevailing parts of his character throughout the whole series (not just tvl) which solidified my headcanon into basically a canon fact in my mind lol.

When Armand is first introduced in iwtv his strangeness is chalked up to his vampirism, but it’s soon revealed throughout tvl and qotd that Armand is considered a strange outcast by other vampires. The things he struggles with r unique to him and r not representative of vampires in general. His otherness/strangeness can also not be chalked up to his trauma or his age turned because Armand was also an outcast as a young child. It’s described in the vampire Armand that Armand was not understood by his parents or his community because he was obsessed with and freakishly good at painting. His community interprets his unusualness as a sign of some divine intervention, the priests believe he is a saint or a prophet sent to earth, even at times saying things implying that he is “not human”. Unusually high quickly developing skill in childhood is an autistic trait, as is hyper fixation on an activity/topic that becomes a core identity factor and prevailing obsession. The affects of Armand’s trauma only worsen the severity of his autistic traits. C-ptsd and autism often overlap and coexist in autistic people who were traumatized in childhood, which seems to be Armand’s case.

in queen of the damned Armand is at his peak autistic lol, I feel like this is when most book readers gain that head canon. The Devils minion chapter revolves around Armand using Daniel as a guide to help him learn how to be “normal” and to blend in to the modern age. Armand can’t seem to figure out how to blend in on his own because he is unable to understand social norms of any time period enough to integrate himself into society. Armand is in love with technology and what most would consider monotonous sensory experiences. He stares at his own reflection for hours, he loves kitchen appliances and watching ingredients whir in blenders, cameras, he watches the same movie over and over again and never gets bored of it. The way Armand fixates on technology really reminds me of how a lot of autistic people played as children. He enjoys repetitive, sensory behaviors over “fun”. For Armand this means watching the same things repeatedly, which is a form of visual stimming. There r moments where Armand is trying to understand his world, but is so blind to what he is trying to understand that he goes about his discoveries wrong. Such as in qotd when he tries to interrogate strangers to gain information on societal norms but he only gets uncomfortable glances. Armand is desperate to understand and to connect but he is consistently inherently alienated, whether it be from humanity or from other vampires or from himself.

Armand also can not process his memories comprehendingly. This is part trauma part autism, but autism is def a factor. Because of his repressed trauma induced memory loss Armand finds it difficult to talk about himself to people. This is worsened by Armand being unable to comprehend the aspects of story telling that he needs to be able to tell people about his life. Armand explains to Daniel that he vividly remembers small details, such as dates and weather, but he could not tell Daniel what “things were like” because he “doesn’t know what that means”. Literal thinking, the inability to grasp vague, fiction based concepts like narratives and metaphor, and strict fixation on minor details like numbers, are all autistic traits!

Armand also struggles heavily with emotional regulation. He is described as often having intense and extreme meltdowns where he cries and screams and breaks things. Armand is easily bothered, in tva he mentions that he covers his ears when he is overwhelmed. The vampire Armand begins actually with Armand becoming overwhelmed in public and trying to escape to an attic so that he can be alone in silence. Armand copes with his intense emotions by putting on a mask of neutrality. He is often described as expressionless and blank, uncanny. But this is a mask, and when Armand can no longer mask and his disguise lapses his facial expressions r described by lestat as being so over the top and emotional that they are disturbing and weird. Over the top unnatural facial expressions as well as blank unreadable ones are both autistic traits. For Armand he is naturally overly emotive to the point of being considered horrifying, and he hides this by taking the opposite extreme. Either way, either expression Armand puts on causes him to be socially outcast.

Armand often describes feeling like there is something wrong with him that causes him to be isolated from others and he’s not sure what it is. In prince lestat he tells Gregory that he doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to have relationships when other vampires are fully capable of doing that. In the vampire Armand he explains to David that he’s crazy because his mind isn’t built right and his senses are tripled so he shouldn’t bother trying to understand him. I rlly relate to this as someone who felt like I was from another dimension as a child bcus i didn’t know the unspoken life rules everyone else did.

Armand is often treated like a child by the other vampires and assumed to be emotionally immature and too fragile and insane to be helpful. Armand says in the vampire Armand that he doesn’t consider himself an adult because he can’t function like one. This could be due to the age he was turned, but it’s shown to us that characters like Benji and even to an extent Claudia r able to self regulate and function appropriately despite being turned even younger then Armand was.

in conclusion, book Armand is an autistic person who was never given proper support or understanding because the environment and the time period he was born in decided to alienate him further rather then work to help him socialize and learn appropriate skills, and because of the necessities he has been deprived of and the horrible trauma he endured Armand is never able to learn to function in the way he was likely capable of. this recessive quality in pair with his autism caused Armand it be unable to cope or self regulate or learn ways to understand himself since he wasn’t given a chance to in his formative years. He’s a great representative of what many autistic people who experienced intense child abuse experience.

Im rlly happy with the shows portrayal with Armand so far partly because he is omg, so autistic. Show Armand shares so many of book Armand’s autistic traits. inability to understand himself or others, fixation on small details but inability to understand the big picture, etc. even his iPad is autistic asf! My ipad is my comfort item that I carry around with me to self sooth, and this is def the vibe Armand’s iPad gives me in the show. Even assads performance is autistic! He is able to play Armand masking and Armand unmasking, the stilted expressions he gives and the blank stares, the uncomprehending earnestness. AGHHHH!! Assad stims with his fingers when Armand is nervous too which is just an amazing touch. I hope the show explores Armand’s autism, because that would literally be a dream come true. Even still, for now I’m satisfied.

thank u so so much anon for the ask this made me so happy 🙏❤️ autistic Armand means so much to me and has gotten me though some tough times. Understanding and analyzing Armand helps me understand myself better and feel more comfortable with how I am. Earlier this year I gave myself a concussion because I was harmfully stimming during a meltdown, and while I was in the emergency room I was holding the vampire Armand and imaging that he would relate to what I was going through. So yeah he is very special to me too! And once again it makes me so so happy that u got me to talk some about it. I hope this was coherent or interesting lol I felt like I was all over the place

[fandomtrumpshate]

Fan Labor Golden Needles

At the time of posting, we still have 26 glorious fan labor auctions that have no bids. That means this could be your chance to make a small donation and get some help with beta reading, sensitivity reading, specialist expertise, or even some more unique offers!

astriiformes is offering Culture picking, Sensitivity reading, Specialist expertise, and Research for ANY fandom. They list the following areas of expertise:

Jewish & American culture-picking, sensitivity reading for Jewish, aromantic, asexual, transgender (especially transmasculine), ADHD, autistic, and chronically and mentally ill characters, as well as writing queerplatonic relationships. Specialist expertise: Archives and archival work, stringed instruments and orchestras, queer history, scientific & medical history, historical research

birbleafs is offering Betaing for Genshin Impact; Star Wars (Original Trilogy, Prequel Trilogy, The Clone Wars, Legends / Extended Universe) and Jujutsu Kaisen

Blue_Rose_1066 is offering Betaing, Sensitivity reading, Specialist expertise for Wheel of Time; Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson; and Good Omens. Here's how they describe their areas of expertise:

I am a Judaic studies student and have a good familiarity with ancient Jewish history, as well as WW2 German and USSR front. I can also provide knowledge about dog training, knitting, Hebrew Bible, Jewish practices, migraines and chronic paid. I can provide sensitivity reading for gender nonconforming (agender, nonbinary), Bisexual/ Frey sexual. I can provide any type of beta reading needed. I tend to ask a lot of questions, and notice small details.

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coslyons is offering Specialist expertise for ANY fandom

I am offering to provide myself as a resource for "ask an engineer". My expertise is primarily in civil engineering, but I have some background in other sub-types of engineering. I'm happy to provide feedback on any work, help with brainstorming and ideation, or answer general information questions.

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Culture-picking: Australian, as well as picking for 1st generation Asian immigrant in a western country Specialist expertise: Law (specifically Australian Law), coding (Python, HTML), violin and choir Worldbuilding: can help you worldbuild and finetune the finer details of your world

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Keladry is also offering Betaing and American Culture picking for Check Please!; Hockey RPF; and Marvel (Any)

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Lanterns is offering Betaing for Iron Widow; Gravity Falls; and Fruits Basket

Math-Is-Magic is offering Betaing, Sensitivity reading (ace and lesbian), and a unique offer to "Create/update Fanlore pages, stuff like that" for Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed, The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, Arcane and Dimension 20

Fanlore Pages: I'm happy to create a fanlore page on your choice of subject, or to overhaul an existing one. However, the less I know about the subject, the more I may need to rely on you for guidance and feedback. I.e. if you want me to create a page for one of your fics, you'd need to summarize the fic for me, or for a fandom I don't know, you'd have to point me towards the Big Things to know about the fandom and where I might get first-handed sources to read about it, etc.

Mouse9 is offering Betaing for The Magnus Archives/Protocol; Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle stories, BBC Sherlock, Elementary, Enola Holmes, Sherlock & Co.); 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star

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queer_drunk_dwarf is offering Betaing for Minecraft Youtubers (DSMP, Parkour Civilization, QSMP); and Original Work

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I am also a native Filipino still living in the Philippines so I can help with the culture picking and translations in Filipino.

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have some (slightly rusty) skills in Latin and Old English if you need help to translate short pieces for spells or other purposes.

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I will nitpick your library or bookshop fic! Let me help you make the most of these fun fandom settings, while also ensuring that any variation from the reality of the industry is a deliberate choice you make for your story.

winchestered_again is offering Sensitivity reading for Stranger Things; Any fandom they've created for before; and It by Stephen King

I have experience with stigmatized disorders that are often/mostly demonized/sensationalized in media, such as OCD (bar O-OCD/Pure O-OCD or cleanliness OCD, the most well-known), BPD, NPD, and DID to name ones that are probably the most known. I can also help where things like those + disorders like Autism intersect with gender identity and sexuality, particularly with FTM or Non-Binary / Genderfluid identities and can also speak on the AroAce spectrum of sexuality.

[chryza]

As I said before, Arknights is such an autistic game. Like even beyond the doctor being autistic, or Federico being explicitly autism coded and a bunch of other characters with heavy autism coding I’m inclined to give more weight because of the prevalence of it in the story. It’s over and over again in the themes of the story (which, fundamentally is a game about classism and is very pro-disability).

Thinking about Kal’tsit feeling like she can’t ever really connect with people because she’s unique and isolated with a barrier between her and the world. Skadi’s abrupt no nonsense manner and how in Path of Life, I think it was Ulpianus who described her as quiet and socially withdrawn and entirely focused on her mechanical engineering work and I’d need to pull the exact scene but it was screaming Skadi autism coding. Robots with sentience and the sort of transhumanism arknights deals with has always felt so autism to me. Fuckin Laterano? What do you mean there’s an entire society where people intuitively understand each others emotions and those who aren’t part of their “empathy” are socially shunned for not being able to connect? There’s too many examples to list here.

It’s so….familiar, it’s so comforting. Playing this game and being told over and over again that I’m not alone and there are people like me and we are not broken and even if we are there’s still a whole world out there for us. When you start looking for it it’s everywhere. We are everywhere.

[murderbot-moodboard]

Just rewatched Murderbot eps 1-2, and Murderbot's facial expressions and reactions throughout feel unexpectedly relatable for me as an autistic person who used to mask my autism constantly to a degree I was not aware of. It's like there are two layers to Murderbot's emoting, one which it controls, and one which it can't control and can only try to suppress, but which keeps peeking (or occasionally bursting) through despite its best efforts. Not only does this reflect the way the books portray Murderbot's reactions, but it also feels true to my past lived experience of trying to constantly micromanage my facial expressions and speech without being able to fully tell how I was presenting at any given time. The fear of being "found out" by accidentally saying the wrong thing or emoting in the wrong way is also painfully relatable, although the threat of "social death" is still less extreme than getting melted down for parts. I know I picked up on at least some of this while reading the books, but watching the show made the autistic coding hit home in a new way. The look of sheer panic when Mensah invites it to stay in the crew area? I have felt that emotion in my very soul. 😂

(As an aside, the way I learned to reconnect with my physical awareness and have at least some idea what my face and body are doing is humorously on-theme. Part of it was accepting and partially unmasking my autism, and part of it was doing somatic and trauma therapy to make myself feel safe in my body and emotions again. But a huge part of it was also just binge-watching a TV show with a character whose facial expressions, physical mannerisms, and even some speech patterns were ridiculously similar to my own, and using that to backwards-engineer my mental map for how I looked and what my face was doing under different circumstances. Which seems like a Murderbot solution if there ever was one.)

[ur-fav-is-autistic]

Emily the Emerald Engine from Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends is Autistic!

[i-like-blue-eyed-robots]

Wheatley has ADHD

It’s a common enough occurrence that it probably deserves its own trope — aliens, robots and any other nonhuman character almost always end up with autistic traits. It’s because writers take a nonhuman character and go ‘well, how do I make this character register as nonhuman, but still human enough that audiences will like them?’ And the answer is making them neurodivergent. I’m not personally inclined to say that this is a good or a bad thing, though I can see how it might be taken that way.

However, some authors like myself do it intentionally, to demonstrate how neurodivergent people can end up ostracized.

Some examples of common traits that are autistic-coded and writers give to nonhuman characters are as follows:

-difficulty understanding metaphor, sarcasm or exaggeration

-overly blunt in communication

-unawareness of others emotions/incorrect reaction to said emotions

-difficulty realizing their own emotions

-need for a strict schedule in order to be happy

Of course, there’s more out there, but I’ve seen these pop up quite a lot.

However, the Portal series’ fantastic writing team did not follow these stereotypes with their robots, and that’s what I would like to cover today.

I would go over GLaDOS in relation to this idea, like she clearly understands sarcasm, but she doesn’t quite fit for reasons that would be obvious to anyone who’s played through Portal 2. I’m here to talk about Wheatley, the other main robot we get to know in Portal 2.

Wheatley is not autistic coded. He has no problem speaking to strangers or making eye contact. He enjoys sarcasm almost as much as GLaDOs, and so on and so forth.

However, Wheatley is most definitely neurodivergent-coded, and it’s fascinating because for once, maybe for the only time ever in popular media that I’ve ever noticed, a robot is adhd-coded instead of being autistic-coded.

What do I mean by that? First of all, if you haven’t finished Portal 2 go do it now. It’s relatively cheap on Steam and it’s amazing. Moving on — it all stems from what we’re told Wheatley is, during the betrayal scene with GLaDOS. Now to preface this, GLaDOS is a liar. You can take most of what she says with a grain of salt. But, what she says is all we have officially to go off of.

To add further context to this line, the personality cores or “Aperture Science Personality Constructs” (the line of robots that Wheatley is a part of) were specifically built in order to be plugged into GLaDOS’ systems to slow her down and to keep her from killing everyone in Aperture. In the first Portal game, Chell, the player character, incinerates the four ‘successful’ cores that supposedly were the last ones needed to stop GLaDOS. However, given that the character has to travel through an empty facility to do so, it’s clear that they weren’t nearly as successful as the engineers had thought. Later, as core after core was built and none of them worked to stop GLaDOS, Aperture was needing robot maintenance of some kind since all of their human faculty were being killed, fired due to financial ruin, and/or quitting, and so the personality constructs were repurposed to try and keep the facility from falling apart.

Aside from GlaDOS and Wheatley, we don’t see any “non-corrupted” cores. And even both of them are corrupted, with GLaDOS being 80% corrupted and Wheatley assumedly 25%, after doing some quick math of the boss fight. This would normally affect my ability for confident analysis, but luckily in this case I don’t need them to prove that good ol Wheatley is adhd-coded.

Because right from the get-go, “generating an endless stream of terrible ideas” sounds pretty damn adhd to me, as someone who has both inattentive and hyperactive adhd myself. Now, that’s not to say every idea a person with adhd has is a bad one. That’s not even the case with Wheatley, despite it being what we’re told, because again, GLaDOS is an unreliable narrator. It’s Wheatley’s ideas that keep her from killing Chell with turrets or neurotoxin. He’s the one who gets Chell to dismantle those systems. Those are clearly not bad ideas.

But what about other adhd traits? Having an endless stream of ideas isn’t even on a symptom list of being adhd, it’s usually just a side effect of everything else going on. Well, Wheatley has plenty of them.

Hyperactive-type adhd symptoms include but are not limited to;

-fidgeting

-excessive physical movement

-excessive talking

-impulsive behavior

-restlessness/impatience

Oh but how can a robot ball fidget or have excessive physical movement, you may ask. Well. This is the most expressive ball I have ever seen in my life. Wheatley is constantly moving, shifting panels, popping his eye out, spinning in his casing and so forth. The excessive talking one is easy, my younger brother (also an adhd yapper, who has no room to talk) was trying to throw Wheatley over the railing into the bottomless pit beneath Aperture “because he was yapping” too much. This is unusual for a robot character (outside of the Portal series) whereas they tend to speak when spoken to. Wheatley is generally impulsive, but this is especially noticeable when he’s hooked up to the facility in the GLaDOS chassis. After PotatOS calls him a moron, he proceeds to punch her and Chell into the abyss below without thinking about it, reacting out of anger until he realizes they’re about to drop, right before they do. Interestingly, that sort of impulsive rage reaction is more often seen in monster characters, like perhaps a werewolf situation. It sort of adds to the framing that now Wheatley is in control of the facility, he has become something monstrous. Now, judging his patience level accurately is difficult, given that in the beginning he’s in a high-stress, deadly situation and later, when he’s in the chassis, he’s being affected by symptoms of drug withdrawal. However, he is impatient, such as when he’s playing the recorded sound of knocking on a door at the beginning. Granted, he’ll go on ‘knocking’ forever because it’s necessary for the story, but he speaks up every couple of minutes asking if you/Chell are going to open the door already. Again, this is unique for a robot character, as they tend to wait on a player or another character’s actions before responding to it, rather than initiating.

Impressively, these are not all the symptoms Wheatley demonstrates. There is another form of adhd, known as Inattentive-type adhd. The symptoms can include the following;

-Short attention span

-Overlooking details

-Careless mistakes

-Inability to stick to tedious tasks

-Difficulty organizing tasks

-Constantly changing tasks

-Difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions

For having a short attention span, this is again, difficult to determine for Wheatley in a normal setting. In the beginning he’s mostly able to focus, but he’s in a life-or-death scenario. However, he does ramble on about things that have no relevance to what he and the player character are doing, such as when he’s telling the player character about the many jobs he’s had around Aperture and been subsequently released from. He definitely has issues overlooking details, such as when he and Chell are supposed to be dismantling the neurotoxin facilities. While he’s busy ‘hacking’ a computer that may or may not even regulate the facility in the first place, Chell dismantles the generator and he doesn’t even realize she’s doing it at first, because he’s distracted listing off the hardware of the computer. As for careless mistakes, again, this could be simply the situation he’s in, but he definitely makes them. Like when he’s transporting the relaxation chamber in the first chapter, he runs into an unbelievable amount of other relaxation chambers, tearing Chell’s apart. Or even when he’s supposed to be guiding her around Aperture but he dips into wrong corners and has to recorrect. He most visibly has difficulty with tedious tasks when he’s in the chassis, as the facility is literally falling apart because he didn’t bother reading the manual or taking care of the massive amount of upkeep the facility requires. But again, he’s suffering symptoms of drug withdrawal as well that could be affecting his ability to do that. However, given his descriptions of his job loss, mentioned above, we can gather that this is likely an issue he had before ever being a part of the core transfer. This also is in line with difficulty organizing tasks. As for constantly changing tasks, again, he has somewhat better focus in the beginning because if he doesn’t he’ll die, and later he’s exceptionally distracted by a need to test. But even when he should be consumed with the need to test, and he does watch Chell for most of it, he does stop watching randomly at times to do… Who knows what. When it should be the only thing he can focus on. As for difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions, again, the facility falls apart and Wheatley kept being fired for similar, if not the same reasons.

So. That covers basic symptoms and how Wheatley fits pretty much all of them. But, a lesser known side effect of adhd is that it can easily lead to the development of other neurodivergent disorders such as anxiety and depression. Adhd is also linked to something known as emotional dysregulation. Wheatley clearly exhibits signs of anxiety. He’s terrified of dying, and says as much at several points. Not only is he especially scared of dying, but he’s scared of judgment, too. He’s constantly trying to seem more important or smarter than he is, and even though Chell is a silent protagonist, when he takes over the facility before being affected by the testing withdrawals, he assumes she’s been secretly plotting against him the entire time. Depression is more difficult to spot in Wheatley, as he’s not lethargic, but, again, a high-stakes situation can allow a person to mask their symptoms for a brief period out of self-preservation.

However, I do want to point out he clearly displays emotional dysregulation, and not in the way one might expect from a robot character. Wheatley is exceptionally sensitive to criticism. When GLaDOS begins her spiel about him being an intelligence dampening sphere, he moves as far away he can from her, turning his back so he doesn’t have to look at her. He even goes so far as to say “Not listening!” while she’s saying it. Then when she calls him a moron, he reacts violently, in a way he hadn’t so far in the game before that moment. He smashes her through the glass of the elevator and then, when she proceeds to call him a moron again, is when he smashes PotatOS and Chell into the pit. However, he doesn’t even need to even be actively insulted to react to perceived insults as just as much of a threat to his psyche. As mentioned earlier, despite Chell being a silent protagonist, and in some ways because Chell is a silent protagonist, Wheatley assumes that she’s been plotting against him from the start. Her perceived attacks against him are most especially notable during the boss fight. He points out that she’s always quiet, assuming that she’s “silently judging” him. He points out that she didn’t catch him when he fell off of his management rail in the beginning, and that she didn’t warn him that she was the one who killed GLaDOS.

All in all, Wheatley is a beautifully three-dimensional character, not in spite of being a robot, but rather, in some ways, because of it.

[chaostheoryy]

Touch Me [Walter X GN!Reader]

Summary: You and Walter are currently the only two people awake on the colony ship headed for the outskirts of the galaxy. And while most people would find the company of a synthetic to be unsettling, you have come to realize you much prefer his presence over that of other humans. And perhaps you enjoy his company even more than you originally thought.

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Making out, implied sexual thoughts

Reader: Gender Neutral

Word Count: 3.1K

Notes: I recently rewatched the entire Alien franchise and rediscovered my love for Walter. Because of course my dumbass feels connected to an autistic-coded character...There really isn't much plot here, just self-indulgence via smooching a big, wholesome android. And, as always, no beta. I die a warrior's death.

Living with a synthetic is easy. Like a faithful company android should, Walter has always done exactly what he’s supposed to when he’s supposed to. He never interrupts your work unless absolutely necessary and he doesn’t dare disturb your sleep unless following explicit instructions from you or MUTHUR to wake you in time to complete your tasks.

In addition to being an efficient and reliable worker, Walter has also proven himself to be a surprisingly pleasant companion. Conversation, it seems, comes naturally for him and his seemingly endless internal database of poetry and literature means he can recite any one of your favorite stories upon request. Though it’s strange to admit, there’s a pleasantness to his voice that makes every encounter with him comforting.

In fact, the more time you’ve spent together, the more you’ve come to realize just how much you truly find pleasant about him. The mesmerizing tint of his electric blue eyes. The imperfection of his crooked smile when you tell him your worst jokes. The gentleness of his touch despite the inhuman strength of his body. You know these are all things that were programmed into him by some random company engineer years ago, but you can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to him than a bunch of 0’s and 1’s. He’s not just a robot designed to serve man, he’s…Walter.

The stronger your connection feels over these first few weeks of travel, the bolder you get when it comes to exploring your affection for him. It starts with accidental brushes of the hand against his arm or a gentle press of your palm between his shoulder blades when you squeeze behind him in a tight corridor. Fleeting touches that can easily be written off as necessary interactions given the nature of your environment. He, of course, doesn’t seem to mind at all. Every time it happens, he responds to your apology or “excuse me” with a courteous little grin and a brief utterance of reassurance.

On a particularly bad day, when nothing seems to go right and the loneliness of space grips at your heart, you ask for his comfort and he obliges. His hand rests on your shoulder until it simply isn’t enough and you ask him to hold you. No request is too much for Walter, so sure enough you find yourself wrapped in his arms with your head resting on his chest. Even despite his lack of fleshy internal organs, you find he’s just as warm as any human would be. And when he murmurs soothing words in your ear, you realize that no human could possibly comfort you the way he can.

“Walter?”

“Yes?"

“Hugging you like this,” you murmur quietly into his charcoal sweatshirt, “Does it feel good for you?”

“If you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy embracing you, yes. I find it quite satisfactory.”

“Good.”

“Is this embrace satisfying for you?”

“Very."

“I’m glad.”

To your surprise, the hand that had come to rest in the center of your back begins to move in slow circles. When you shift beneath his touch, the movement ceases.

“Apologies,” he says as he abruptly steps away. The loss of contact leaves your body yearning for the comfort.

“No need to apologize, Walter. It’s fine, really. I…” You hesitate for a moment. “It felt nice.”

You stare each other down, both of you searching for answers to questions neither of you have asked. You know it’s probably just your mind playing tricks on you, but it seems as though he looks nervous. Then again, hard not to notice an aura of uncertainty coming from a presence that is usually nothing but certain.

“Have you ever touched someone like that before now?” You ask.

“No. I’m afraid it was never the company’s intention for synthetics such as myself to engage in intimate contact.”

You try to stow away some of the sheer sadness you feel knowing what he’s said is undoubtedly true. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because that doesn’t seem fair. Being surrounded by people your whole life and knowing that none of them will ever hold you. Knowing that the people who created you never even wanted you to be held.”

“Fair or not, it is simply a part of my programming.”

You frown. It frustrates you to no end. No matter how many times he or the little voice in the back of your head tells you that he is simply an android following his programming, you want to argue that there’s more to it than that. That he genuinely exists and deserves to live.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“In regard to what exactly?”

“Touch. Don’t you ever wonder what it’d be like to truly be touched? To be held and caressed and cared for by someone else?”

“It is something I have pondered over from time to time, sure.”

Your heart is racing in your chest as you consider your words. It’s crazy, you know it is, but you can’t help yourself. “Would you like me to touch you?”

Walter’s head tilts to the left ever so slightly, much like a dog who’s heard his owner utter the name of his favorite toy in casual conversation. Those dazzling blue eyes blink a couple of times as he considers your question.

“Yes, I believe I would.”

An inaudible sigh of relief slips from your throat. You nod, more to yourself than to Walter, and step forward to close the distance between you. He doesn’t move in the slightest, just stands there and watches your every move with the scrutiny of a scientist at work.

You start by taking his right hand. Pulling it from his side, you raise it up into the space between your bodies. Your right thumb traces over his knuckles while your left hand gently pushes the sleeve of his sweatshirt up toward his elbow. Just like any human you’ve ever met, there are delicate hairs all along his forearm that jump back into place as the fabric of his sleeve slides past.

After watching those little hairs shift around exploratory strokes of your hand along the backside of his arm, you turn it over and trace the now exposed lines of his palm. You feel like those storied fortune tellers of old Earth who search for hidden meanings in the imperfections of a person’s skin. But instead of seeking out some clue to the distant future, it’s as if you’re seeking the very essence of humanity in Walter’s palm.

“You have a soft touch,” he notes as you ghost your fingertips over the almost velvety surface of his inner wrist.

Your eyes flick up to his face to find him still watching you with a nearly unreadable expression. “Does that bother you?”

“Not at all.”

Reassured by his response, you can’t help the tiny grin that pulls at the corner of your mouth. And as unbelievable as it sounds, Walter’s gaze seems soften at the sight of your smile.

Suddenly feeling as if you’ve been caught witnessing something you were never supposed to see, you hastily draw your focus away from his face and back down to the hand in your grasp. Your fingers trace the lines on his palm a few more times before you curl his fingers inward one by one. When every single digit has been bent into the familiar shape of a fist, you rotate his arm once again and bend his wrist back. Then, with painstaking patience that could drive a man insane, you slowly unravel his fingers with your own until your palms are flush against one another.

“Like Dürer’s Praying Hands.”

Sparing a glance upward once again, you see him gazing at your pressed hands with a nearly awestruck look in his eyes. The way he appears mesmerized by the very sight of this contact, you’d think he’s staring at the aforementioned German artwork itself.

You elect not to say anything, choosing instead to spread his fingers apart with your own. Once they’re fully splayed out, you slip your fingers in between those outstretched digits and tenderly grasp his hand. For the briefest moment, his fingers remain fully erect as if every joint in his hand is locked in place. But, like the sun setting upon its earthly horizon, they soon slowly fold downward until your hands are delicately intertwined.

There’s a tangible silence in the room as you both gaze upon your interlocked hands. The only sounds you can make out around you are the distant beeps of some far off console and the soft exhale of your own breath. And when Walter’s eyes shift from your hands to your face, that breath only grows heavier. He looks curious, anticipatory.

“I think I’m beginning to understand why humans hold hands as a gesture of affection.”

Your brow raises instinctively. “You like it?”

“It’s pleasant.”

“Would you be willing to let me touch your face?”

He blinks, seemingly processing the inquiry. Then he replies, “Of course.”

Using your free hand, you reach up and gently cup your palm along his jaw. As usual, he doesn’t even flinch at the new touch. He just keeps his eyes locked on you while you explore the new frontier that is his visage.

At first, you examine his face like a parent searching their child for minor cuts and bruises after an afternoon of rough housing in the backyard. It’s gentle, yet full of meticulous observation. Intimate in a way only familial touch can be.

But after a while, you become familiar with the feeling of his skin and allow yourself to truly caress the face before you. Fingertips press into the most delicate patches of skin at the back of the jaw. Your thumb tenderly rubs his cheekbone as the butt of your palm teeters at the edge of his mouth. It’s not your intention to feel his lips just yet but it can’t be helped when your skin brushes past them. And just like a human’s lips would be, they are tantalizingly supple against your skin.

Goosebumps crawl up your forearm when you feel his breath tickle the inside of your wrist. Witnessing him breathe is one of those things that never ceases to fascinate you or quell your incessant desire to prove Walter is more than just some carbon copy synthetic. What need would an artificial person have to breathe if they were simply meant to be servants for mankind? Why make them so incredibly real if they aren’t supposed to live a real life? Why strive to recreate the inherently flawed design of the human body if they aren’t meant to be human?

“Is everything alright?”

Walter’s voice draws you out of your thoughts so violently that he may as well have shoved you out of the airlock. You blink yourself back to consciousness and are startled to find your thumb resting at the edge of his top lip, your hand still cupped along the sharp line of his jaw. His breath continues to tickle your wrist with every exhale.

“Y-yeah,” you stammer as you reposition your hand away from his mouth, “Everything’s fine.”

“You’re displaying early symptoms of common influenza,” he counters matter-of-factly, eyes piercing right through the shield of your lie. “Your heart rate is elevated and your body temperature has increased by half a degree.”

Your body temperature may have only risen by a fraction of a degree but it may as well be several dozen considering the sheer heat scalding your cheeks. The thudding of your heartbeat has become incessantly loud and your breath nearly gets trapped in your throat.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt as you pull yourself alway from him.

His brow immediately furrows with confusion. And if you dared to study his expression any longer, you may find the look on his face hints at disappointment.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand why you’re apologizing. You’ve done nothing wrong. If you are unwell, I would be happy to tend to you in the medical bay.”

“No!” The urgency in your voice catches you off guard. You swallow the lump in your throat, hoping it will take some of the embarrassment down with it. “Thank you. But, I’m not sick, Walter, I promise. I’m just…Nervous.”

His head tilts again. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re actively staving off immense shame for your handling of the whole situation, you might actually be able to acknowledge just how endearing you find that little tick of his.

“May I ask why you are nervous?”

A breathy chuckle escapes the confines of your throat. A nervous laugh that you had no intention of letting out. Walter appears even more puzzled by the reaction.

“I’m nervous because I’m touching you,” you admit, “Because touching you is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time now. And because now that I’ve done so, I want to keep doing it.”

“Then why did you stop?"

It’s a question you weren’t expecting. But, of course Walter would be the one to bypass formalities and outright ask the hard questions.

“Because I feel guilty.”

“Guilt would imply that you’ve committed an offense or violation.”

“Running my hands over your body and caressing your face like you’re my lover sure as hell feels like a violation,” you argue.

Despite your tone growing erratic, he remains as stoic as ever. “I guarantee you, it isn’t. You asked for permission and I granted it.”

To your utter surprise, he reaches out and gently grabs you by the wrist. Despite your astonishment at his decision to reinitiate the contact, you don’t argue or pull away when he guides your hand back up to his face. Deep down you know this is the outcome you truly want, even if it’s one you never imagined you could have.

“Feel no guilt,” he says as your hand comes to its resting place along his jaw, “I want you to touch me.”

Your heart skips a beat at those words. It’s a statement that makes your mind race faster than any engine in the universe. Sexual innuendos and Freudian subconscious aside, the significance of his declaration isn’t lost on you. He isn’t just standing there, letting you explore his visage like some statue being admired by museum patrons. He’s now an active participant driven by his own desire to be caressed. To be caressed by you.

The mere notion of him wanting this is enough to conquer most of your hesitancy. Swallowing whatever fear remains, you bring your other hand up so that you’re cupping his face between them both. Your thumbs stroke at his cheekbones.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” His voice is soft, restrained. He knows it’s dangerous to spook an already anxious animal.

You dwell on his words for a moment. His eyes, sharp and disarming as always, seem to peer right through your orbital cavity and into your brain itself. If he looks hard enough, he may very well discover the thoughts that are tucked away inside your mind without you even needing to put them into words.

Before you can convince yourself not to, you say, “You’re beautiful.”

He blinks. It’s clear he wasn’t expecting that.

“The color of your eyes. The shape of your lips. The strength of your jaw.” You all but sigh as you trace the line of his jawbone with your middle finger. “I admire everything about you.”

“And what about the fact that I’m not actually human? Do you find that unsettling?”

You shake your head. “No.”

“Why is that?”

You nearly scoff at the question. “Because you could introduce me to a hundred strangers on Earth and I can almost guarantee you that you’re more human than most of them. You have shown me more kindness and empathy than half the people I’ve met in my lifetime.” You slide one hand down to his chest, splaying your fingers out over the spot where his heart should sit. “It doesn’t matter what parts you have or what fluid flows through your veins. I still care for you, Walter.”

In a way, you feel exposed. You never fully considered just how deeply you feel for him. Though, the more you think about it, the more you realize that it shouldn’t be much of a shock at all.

“I would like to kiss you.”

Now there’s a shocking statement.

“What?” You stare at him in awe, unsure that you heard him correctly.

“I said that I would like to kiss you,” he states, “If you find such contact to be agreeable, of course.”

Words are unattainable for you in that moment so you settle for a nod.

He leans in and kisses you softly. He’s so careful, so unbearably gentle that it feels like his lips simply ghost over yours. It isn’t unpleasant, of course. It’s simply too delicate. The whole thing is over before your brain can even process what’s happening. It leaves you yearning for more.

When he pulls back to look at you, he can see the dissatisfaction painted on your face. “Did I do it incorrectly?”

“It wasn’t…wrong. It was just very quick. And much softer than I was expecting.”

“I see.” He thinks for a moment before adding, “Would you like to do it again your way?”

“You want me to kiss you?”

“Yes.”

His eyes instinctively lock on your mouth to watch as your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip. “Okay.”

You reposition your right hand from his chest to the side of his neck and pull him back toward you. When you kiss him, you do so with passion. Your lips find his like a drowning man resurfacing for air after being jostled by the sea. Not violent, but desperate, as if Walter’s kiss could save your life in the cold vacuum of space.

He may not know what he’s doing, but what he’s doing is right. When your tongue presses against his lip, he opens his mouth to welcome it. When you tilt your head to deepen the kiss, he shifts just enough to make it deeper. When your nails dig into his skin to drag him closer, his hands find shelter upon your waist to steady himself. He may be a synthetic by design, but it’s clear from the way he kisses that he is human by nature.

You’re nearly gasping by the time you break the kiss. The breathless wonder of a good kiss is a feeling you have sorely missed and, judging by the blissful look in Walter’s eyes, it seems he’s just experienced something similar for the very first time.

“I have to admit, I prefer your method,” he muses as a tiny grin pricks at the corner of his mouth.

You can’t help but return that grin with a big smile of your own. Your thumb grazes across his bottom lip. “Well, good news: you and I have a lot of time to explore more methods, if you want.”

“I fear there isn’t anything you could offer that I wouldn’t want now.”